for a long time i have been very cynical about the media.

to be honest, i think it began when princess diana died. i can distinctly remember a particular scene where you see the car she was in going into a tunnel, and you can see all these motorbikes with video cameras chasing after the car. and i remember that the voice over spoke about how you could see the reporters and how perhaps they had something to do with the accident. and i got so angry. because the coverage we were viewing was not intended to be a video camera video-ing these reporters and their actions. it was a video camera video-ing the car that princess diana was in. the video the news reporter had used as an example of showing the reporters chasing the car was so hypocritical. and it upset me.

when september 11 happened i also got angry with the way in which reporting was carried out. every night the same footage would be shown of the plane crashing into the building, time and time again. it felt like i was watching a hollywood movie. the hype that was built up by the media was quite overwhelming. of course i was genuinely upset by the event, but many events around the world cause numerous deaths, and it is up to the media to determine which of those events we feel most sorry for.

the media can be so biased and slant things into any angle they wish, or someone higher up the scale, wishes. ever seen the movie 'wag the dog'? brilliant movie that always summed up exactly how i felt about the media and the control they have over so many things.

however in this last week i have realised that perhaps i had become over cynical. i have not watched tv since i left new zealand last september. i do not read any newspapers, and only very occasionally do i go to a news website and find out what is happening around the world. due to this i have become lost in my own little life, due to this i have become ignorant to those events occurring around me and due to this, i have realised how important the media can be.

when the bombings occurred in spain last week i did feel sad and upset for those of my friends who are spaniards, those of my friends who have friends that are spaniards, and those people in spain who have been affected by this tragedy.

however, in my ignorance at not reading the news, i have not been affected very much at all by this event. until today. before today i felt saddened, but in no way felt threatened. people have emailed me worried, as they know i am going to spain in a month or so. but i don't feel threatened because i have not been paying attention to the media. i have not heard all the facts. i have not seen any footage. i have not seen any pictures. i have not read much with regard to the tragic stories. without the media, i have become unaware of those important things that i should perhaps be more aware of.

today all of europe held a one minute's silence at noon. we had a lecture and we stopped in order to do this. and it was at this moment that i suddenly realised, suddenly put things into perspective, suddenly discerned where in the world i was and what in the world was happening.

perhaps i disagree with some of the techniques the media use to portray world events. but without them i have fallen into ignorance which is not acceptable.